An NHS nursing team
A session for an NHS nursing team in 2023.
A talk with David Oromith
Compassion vs empathy at work
Nurses, carers and anyone who looks after others feel other people's pain every day, and over time it can wear them down. This talk looks at the difference between empathy and compassion, and how empathy on its own can turn into exhaustion and despair. David brings together insights from the Buddhist tradition, Western psychology and modern wellbeing research.
He draws on his years working in mental health services, including his own experience of empathy turning into despair.
What your audience will take away
Empathy and compassion
What each one is, and why burnout is better understood as empathy fatigue than compassion fatigue.
The near enemies of compassion
Pity and despair: how they can feel like caring, and why they leave us less able to help.
Doing the little we can
Focusing on what we can do, and attending to suffering without carrying it everywhere.
Compassion for ourselves too
Why people in caring roles are often hardest on themselves, and how to offer ourselves the kindness we give others.
Burnout in caring work
How caring work leads to burnout, and what helps at each stage.
A guided meditation and PDF notes
The talk includes a guided meditation, and everyone gets PDF notes afterwards.
Meeting someone's suffering
Near enemy
Pity
“How awful.” Then we turn away to something else.
Near enemy
Despair
We stay in the feeling with nowhere for it to go, until it becomes our whole reality.
Compassion
We feel it, then ask: what can I do, how can I help?
Three ways of meeting suffering, as David describes them in the talk. Pity and despair are what Buddhism calls the near enemies of compassion: they can look like it, but they are not.
Where David has given this talk
Insight Timer Live
A session for carers in January 2025, on caring for ourselves while caring for others.
Contemplative Consciousness Network
An online workshop in February 2025, “Compassion vs Despair”, with Spanish interpretation.
Why book David
Mental health background
David started as a mental health support worker at eighteen and went on to work in Liverpool's mental health services, on the wards and in the community.
Lived experience
At his lowest he was signed off work for months, and he speaks about it openly.
Qualified
He is a qualified mindfulness teacher and a Mental Health First Aider.
Trained in Buddhism for over a decade
His root teacher is Dr B. Alan Wallace, a renowned scholar and teacher of Tibetan Buddhism, and David has trained in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition since 2015.
Author and teacher
He wrote A Practical Guide to Mindful Living and Calm Mind, Open Heart, and co-founded Samadhi, a Buddhist wellbeing charity (1207744), where he leads retreats and courses across the UK and online.
Who it's for
David gives this talk to NHS and frontline teams, carers' organisations, workplace wellbeing programmes, conferences and festivals, and schools, colleges and universities. It suits anyone whose work involves caring for others, paid or unpaid.
- NHS and frontline teams
- Carers' organisations
- Workplace wellbeing
- Conferences and festivals
- Schools, colleges and universities
Keynote
20 to 45 minutes
For festivals, summits and conference main stages.
Workshop
90 minutes to half a day
With short guided practices, for 20 to 200 people.
Corporate wellbeing day
Full day
For a team, including lunchtime guided meditations and Q&A.
Reduced rates are available for NHS, charity and educational bookings.
What participants said
“My biggest take away from this one is to build time into my day when I know I will be supporting someone who is struggling mentally. I often find I take on other's emotions and tend to feel very awful the next day, so remembering to build in time to release that energy will be very helpful.”
“David's teachings are so compassionate, so genuine and so kind, that it is an absolute pleasure to listen to him.”
“David has a great gift in speaking with kindness and clarity and is so wonderfully wise.”
“The session I attended with David was so incredibly helpful. He's so calming and insightful. A must for anyone who's struggling to cope with life and its struggles.”
“David's knowledge, passion and the empathy made him a great guide.”
“David is an exceptional teacher; grounded, kind, wise and generous.”
Questions from organisers
How long is the talk?
From a 20-minute keynote to a full-day programme.
Does it include a guided practice?
Yes. The talk includes a guided meditation, and short practices people can use during a working day.
Do attendees get anything to take away?
Yes. Everyone gets PDF notes after the talk.
Can it be tailored to our audience?
Yes. David shapes every talk with the organiser, for example for a nursing team, a care charity or a school staff team.
Online or in person?
Both. Online keynotes and workshops run on Zoom.
Do you travel?
David is based in South Wales and travels across the UK. International in-person bookings are considered case by case.
What does it cost?
It depends on the format, so get in touch for a quote. Reduced rates are available for NHS, charity and educational bookings.
Related talks and books
Book this talk
Tell us a little about your event and we will come back within two working days with availability, a fee and a rough idea of how a session could work for your audience.
