Retreats and courses
Samadhi retreats, day retreats and courses on attachment and love.
A talk with David Oromith
Attachment, love and relationships
Jealousy, unspoken expectations and feeling let down are part of most close relationships. This talk looks at where they come from, and at the difference between love and attachment, in the Buddhist sense of needing someone to make us happy. David brings together insights from the Buddhist tradition, Western psychology and modern wellbeing research.
He draws on his own experience and his years of teaching on attachment at Samadhi.
What your audience will take away
Love and attachment
How much of what we call love is about how someone makes us feel, and how to tell the two apart.
How attachment shows up
Seeing someone as perfect, possessiveness, jealousy and the need to come first.
Expectations in relationships
The unspoken expectations we place on partners, friends and family, and what happens when they are not met.
Non-attachment
What non-attachment means in a close relationship, and how it leaves more room for love.
Difficult moments
Questions to ask ourselves when a relationship hurts, and where boundaries fit.
A guided meditation and PDF notes
The talk opens with a guided meditation, and everyone gets PDF notes afterwards.
Attachment
- What it says
- "I love you because you make me happy."
- Who it is about
- Me: how they make me feel, and what they mean to me.
- How it sees them
- A source of my happiness, perfect or failing to meet my expectations.
- When they change or get busy
- Feels threatened, and may test, withdraw or punish.
- How it feels
- Like a clenched fist: conditional and claustrophobic.
Love
- What it says
- "I love you because I want you to be happy."
- Who it is about
- Them: their happiness and wellbeing.
- How it sees them
- A real person with good sides and bad sides.
- When they change or get busy
- Still wants what brings them joy, even if things between us change.
- How it feels
- Like an open palm: spacious and freeing.
Attachment and love side by side, as David contrasts them in the talk. In most relationships the two are mixed together, often in the same moment.
Where David has given this talk
The study programme
Part of the Buddha's Path study programme, including two sessions on attachment and its antidotes.
Mind training talks
It comes up whenever David speaks on mind training.
Festivals
Talks at wellbeing festivals.
Why book David
Mental health background
David started as a mental health support worker at eighteen and went on to work in Liverpool's mental health services, on the wards and in the community.
Lived experience
At his lowest he was signed off work for months, and he speaks about it openly.
Qualified
He is a qualified mindfulness teacher and a Mental Health First Aider.
Trained in Buddhism for over a decade
His root teacher is Dr B. Alan Wallace, a renowned scholar and teacher of Tibetan Buddhism, and David has trained in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition since 2015.
Author and teacher
He wrote A Practical Guide to Mindful Living and Calm Mind, Open Heart, and co-founded Samadhi, a Buddhist wellbeing charity (1207744), where he leads retreats and courses across the UK and online.
Who it's for
David gives this talk to festival audiences, couples' retreats, meditation and Buddhist groups, wellbeing retreats and online audiences. It suits anyone dealing with jealousy or hurt in their relationships with partners, friends or family.
- Festivals
- Couples' retreats
- Meditation and Buddhist groups
- Wellbeing retreats
- Online audiences
Keynote
20 to 45 minutes
For festivals, summits and conference main stages.
Workshop
90 minutes to half a day
With short guided practices, for 20 to 200 people.
Corporate wellbeing day
Full day
For a team, including lunchtime guided meditations and Q&A.
Reduced rates are available for NHS, charity and educational bookings.
What participants said
“David struck just the right level and I have come away feeling inspired to learn more.”
“David is a great teacher and the classes are enjoyable, informative and relatable.”
“What David talks about and teaches relates to real life.”
“I found David's experiences insightful and completely relatable.”
“David shared his Buddhist teachings which are so relevant to today on how we live our lives.”
“I cannot recommend David and his teachings enough (I've attended many) David is warm, friendly and so understanding, with a wealth of knowledge.”
Questions from organisers
How long is the talk?
From a 20-minute keynote to a full-day programme.
Does it include a guided practice?
Yes. The talk opens with a guided meditation, which can end with a short reflection on where expectations show up in our own relationships.
Do attendees get anything to take away?
Yes. Everyone gets PDF notes after the talk.
Can it be tailored to our audience?
Yes. David shapes every talk with the organiser, for example for a couples' retreat, a festival audience or a meditation group.
Online or in person?
Both. Online talks and workshops run on Zoom, and David has given this talk live on Insight Timer.
Do you travel?
David is based in South Wales and travels across the UK. International in-person bookings are considered case by case.
What does it cost?
It depends on the format, so get in touch for a quote. Reduced rates are available for NHS, charity and educational bookings.
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Book this talk
Tell us a little about your event and we will come back within two working days with availability, a fee and a rough idea of how a session could work for your audience.
